Love It or List It: When Everyone Feels Stuck in the Middle

Last fall at my client appreciation event, I had the same conversation on repeat, in the best way.

Not “Are you moving?” exactly.

More like, “We are thinking about it… but we are not sure.”

And honestly, it makes so much sense. A lot of homeowners are at the same crossroads right now. You might love your home and your neighborhood, but maybe your life has shifted. Maybe you need a play room, another bedroom, a better layout for working from home, space for a parent to stay with you, or simply a little breathing room. The question becomes: do you love it enough to make it work, or is it time to list it and find something that fits better?

Why this decision feels harder right now

Two things are making this “love it or list it” moment feel especially complicated:

Interest rates. Even though rates have moved around, the big picture is that borrowing money costs morethan it did a few years ago. That changes the math for a move.

Construction costs. The cost to build or renovate is still high. Labor is expensive, materials are expensive, and timelines can be longer than people expect. I talk to homeowners all the time who say, “We would rather add on,” and then they get the estimate and suddenly moving feels back on the table.

One more piece that comes up a lot: rates also matter if you would finance improvements. Many homeowners used to tap equity with a refinance or a line of credit, and the monthly cost of borrowing is higher than it was a few years ago. So even when a project makes sense, the way you pay for it can change the decision.

So if you are feeling stuck, you are not alone. This market has made decision making feel heavier.

The case for “love it”

If you truly love your location, that matters. A lot.

Your street. Your neighbors. The way your kids walk to school. The commute that finally feels manageable. The coffee shop down the street. Those things are hard to replicate. And once you leave a neighborhood you love, you may not be able to get back into it easily.

Renovating can also be a great option if the changes you need are realistic. Sometimes a smart rework of space, a small addition, finishing a basement the right way, or creating a first floor bedroom setup can make the home feel completely different without the stress of selling and buying.

A good question to ask is:
Can this home become what we need, without turning our lives upside down for a year?

Because renovations are not just about money. They are also about bandwidth, disruption, and patience.

The case for “list it”

On the flip side, I see plenty of homeowners who keep trying to talk themselves into staying when the reality is that the house no longer fits their day-to-day life. And that is okay. Homes are supposed to support your life, not make everything harder.

One big misconception I hear is:
“We would have to save a ton of cash to buy our next home.”

Often, that is not true.

If you have equity in your current home, you may be able to use the proceeds from your sale toward your down payment, which can significantly reduce the amount of cash you need on hand. There are a few ways this can work depending on timing and financing, but the main idea is that your home has been doing some heavy lifting for you over the years. Equity can be a powerful tool.

This is why a lot of move up buyers are still moving, even in a higher rate environment. They are not starting from scratch.

The part no one can predict

Moving always involves a little unknown. You can do the research, tour the house, and feel confident, and there can still be surprises, in the home and in the day to day feel.

That is why I put so much weight on location. You can improve a house. You cannot change the neighborhood.

A simple way to think about it

If you are torn, here are a few questions I walk through with clients:

• What is not working in the current house, specifically?
• Is it a space issue, a layout issue, or a lifestyle issue?
• Could a realistic renovation solve it, and would the disruption be worth it?
• If you did nothing, would you be okay here for the next 3 to 5 years?
• What do you love about your location that you would be sad to lose?
• If the right home came up in the right area, would you move quickly?

Sometimes the answer becomes obvious after one honest conversation. Sometimes we talk through both paths: what it could look like to improve the home you are in versus what it could look like to sell and buy something that fits better.

My takeaway from last fall

What stood out to me at that event was how many people were thinking the same thing privately, but had not said it out loud yet.

If you are in that “we are not sure” phase, that is a totally normal place to be. You do not need to decide today, and you do not need to have it all figured out before you start exploring the options.

If you want to talk it through, I am always happy to chat and help you think through the pros and cons. And if you want the cold hard numbers, I can connect you with a great local lender who can map out a few scenarios clearly, based on your goals, so you have something solid to work with.

Because the goal is not just a new house. The goal is a home that fits.